The Whole World's After Him

I spent part of last night with an intoxicated 15 year old. It was not my favorite thing to do. First there was vomiting, then staggering, falling down, slurring speech, more vomiting and lying. This was not fun, nor was it funny. In fact, it was a bad situation all the way around. Initially, I was very angry with this boy. My mind went immediately to questions like, "What were you thinking?" "Don't you know how stupid this is?" and "Did you think no one would figure this out?" But after a while my perspective changed.

This boy blamed everyone. He was not willing (ever) to take responsibility for himself. It was his friends' fault. (Interestingly, none of them were as drunk as he was.) It was the fault of his father and mother and their divorce. It was his sister's fault. It seemed to be every one's fault but his own.

This seems like a terrible thing, but it is what most of us do on a regular basis. We want to blame someone else for every bad thing that happens to us. This is the major contributing factor to the Oprah/ Dr Phil phenomena. As long as I can blame someone else, I am off the hook. This is a terrible syndrome that we Americans have. If I continue to blame someone else for all of my problems, I will never get better. I must take responsibility for what I do. But try telling that to a 15 year old drunk.

Another thing that happened nearly broke my heart. While he was waiting for his mother to come pick him up, this boy was talking to his father on the telephone. Although I could only hear parts of one side of the conversation, it seems as though the father was trying to keep the boy calm and focused while waiting for mom. It was then that the boy said, "Dad, are you drunk?" My safe and sane worldview fell apart at that moment. Why should a 15 year old ever have to worry about whether or not a parent would of could help them out of a jam? It was almost too much for me.

It came into focus pretty clearly and pretty quickly. Although my young friend is responsible for his own drunkenness, he needs a much better example than he has. And finally, his mother arrived. The boy did not seem to be in any trouble. Mom was mostly embarrassed that other people saw her son in this condition, and consequently may think less of her abilities as a mother.

So here is my prediction: Whether this was the first drunken night for this boy or not, there will be more. Dad is setting an example. Mom is enabling it to happen. The boy is not taking responsibility. There is no question in my mind that this scene will repeat itself.

It is probably time that more severe action is taken, for the sake of this boy. Perhaps a ride with the sheriff and a round of court proceedings would make a difference. Maybe some time in a rehab program is necessary. Or it could be that this boy just needs an adult or two who will care for him.