Even Cable TV Stinks

I remember the first time that I discovered AMC (American Movie Classics) on my cable system. It was at least 15 years ago. AMC quickly became my favorite station. There were great old movies, no commercials and fun "marathons" (Jimmy Stewart Day). But that was a long time ago. Things have changed on AMC. I don't even think that AMC stands for anything anymore. They certainly do not play classic movies. Tonight's prime time line up includes Alien Resurrection, The Matrix and Terminator 2: Judgment Day. Not a classic film to be seen.

One time several years ago we were on vacation and our hotel included TV Land as one of its cable offerings. It was like heaven. We stayed in the first evening and watched Mr. Ed, The Patty Duke Show, The Donna Reed Show and Burns and Allen. It was chance to live in a time that was simpler and better. But alas, TV Land has changed too. Tonight on TV Land you can watch back to back episodes of Home Improvement, Roseanne and Married with Children. Thankfully, you can catch The Andy Griffith Show too, but there is very little classic TV on TV Land anymore.

On either of these cable channels you can find a seemingly endless variety of reality programs and new scripted series. You can also find paid programming, those perennial info-mercials that no one really likes. It is a shame that what were once my two favorite cable channels have become little more than purveyors of drivel.

I am sure that the changes in these two entities were well thought out and served a practical function. Thankfully there is Turner Classic Movies to fill the old movie void, but there is nothing bringing us television programming from the 50's, 60's or 70's. I have quit on both of these channels. And I am hoping that something will change soon.

Best Shows on Television

I haven't seen everything that's on TV these days, but of the programs I have seen, these are the best. Each of them is worth watching. Take a chance.

• 24
• The Office
• Glee
• 30 Rock
• The Daily Show
• Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern
• The Colbert Report

If I am missing a good one let me know. I will be glad to update my list.

Two and a Half What??

The other day the television was on in my house at around 6pm. I was in another room of the house, but from time to time I passed through the family room and gave passing attention to what was on tv. It was Two and a Half Men. In the six or so years that this has been on television I have watched it a couple of times. I was not impressed. It didn't seem funny to me. Just so you know, it still doesn't seem funny to me.

But the lack of humor is not what get me interested that day. I was interested in the content of the jokes. I did not do a study of it, but there seemed to be a lot of jokes about sex, penises, vaginas and other graphic "R" rated things.

I am not a prude. I do not believe that adult humor and situations are always wrong. There are times and circumstances when grown-ups need to be grown-ups. There is nothing evil or inappropriate about discussion, or even joking, about sex. My problem with this was that it was being broadcast at 6pm.

This is a time when many young people are watching television unsupervised. Parents, if they are at home, are often pre-occupied with preparing dinner, watching the news or other early evening pursuits. Children, adolescents and teens are left to their own devices.

It is no wonder that we have so many unwanted teen pregnancies. This is a part of the explanation behind the casual attitude that young people have about sex. They are saturated with sex talk, they watch it on tv, they hear it at school. That is why they send nude pictures of themselves via text message and email. They are surrounded with it. Why not participate in it?

No one is innocent here. Such television programs should not be broadcast during hours when children will be more likely to watch them. Parents should do a better job of monitoring their children's viewing practices and other activities. Children should learn to say no to such media.

Anything Worth Watching?

This is a very troubling question for me. I do not expect an answer. I think I already know the answer, but "Is there anything on television that is worth watching?" Answer: NO!

I had a few moments of leisure the other night so I decided to watch one of the current batch of situation comedies. I had previously tried 30 Rock and The Office and was not offended by them. In fact, I found both to be mildly amusing if innocuous. I was hoping that my new show would not sink to the level of Kath and Kim or My Name is Earl, two sitcoms that I have tried and rejected soundly as a waste of time and brain cells.

So, I picked a program at random, The Big Bang Theory. What a pile of garbage. The idea behind this gem, the situation, if you will, is that four geeky nerds share an apartment across the hall from a beautiful, young blond girl. Never mind that this sounds like a re-tread of Friends (in reality, it is), there is nothing good here.

1. I have no idea why the sexy girl spends time with the nerds and seems to value them as people. This flies in the face of accepted sitcom wisdom. I have only watched the show once, and plan to never watch again, so I am sure that I will never figure this one out.
2. There is nothing new or original here. The characters have all been seen before. The situation is familiar. This is old hat.
3. The writing relies on familiar cliches and worn-out jokes.
4. The characters are tired stereotypes with no depth. They are there, but we know nothing about what makes them tick. Where is the back story?

I cannot invest anymore time or energy in this show. It will be gone soon. It is not worth me caring about or spending time with. This is nothing more than Two and a Half Men without the charisma of Charlie Sheen.

Help! I need to find something worth watching on television. Is it out there?

Ben "Alger" Carson

Horatio Alger was a prolific author who was best known for his rags to riches stories of the American dream. Several year ago I became aware of true-life Horatio Alger story. The story of Ben Carson is not secret, but it was very exciting when I first became aware of it. Carson's autobiography, Gifted Hands, was an inspiring, life-altering book for me.

When I read the book I was impressed by Dr Carson's success. He has an impressive resume no matter where he comes from and who he is. He is a pediatric neuro-surgeon who pioneered procedures to help children suffering from seizures, the hemispherectomy that removes one half of the brain to give a child a normal life, and to separate conjoined twins who were connected at the head. Both procedures were successful and created a lot of publicity for Dr Carson.

But the truly amazing aspect of the story is the environment from which Dr Carson came. He was raised in the inner-city by a single mother. He endured racism, poverty, a bad attitude and many other forms of disadvantage. And yet he was able to overcome disadvantage, become a productive member of the medical community, attain a measure of success, attain a measure of financial security, keep his deep Christian faith and become an effective and loving father and husband.

The true story, however, is about the faith and commitment of his mother, Sonya Carson. When it was required, Ben's mother got her two sons in line. She made sacrifices, worked hard and loved her sons. She is a true example of what parents ought to be.

Recently TNT produced a broadcast a filmed production based on Carson's book. It is well worth your time. (Read about the film at http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1295085/maindetails.) (Get more information about when to watch at http://www.tnt.tv/movies/giftedhands/.)

So, do three things...

1. Watch this movie.
2. Read this book.
3. Become the parent God intended you to be.

The Funniest Seinfeld Episodes

Seinfeld is without a doubt (in my mind at least) the funniest television program of our time. The ensemble cast is perfect, the situations range from the mundane to the absurd, but what makes this such a great show is the writing. What follows is a list of my favorite episodes (in no particular order) (except that The Chinese Restaurant is the funniest half hour ever).

• The Chinese Restaurant. I still tell the host at a restaurant that my name is Cartwright.
• The Boyfriend. That was "one magic loogey."
• The Parking Garage.
• The Stranded.
• The Outing. "Not that there's anything wrong with that."
• The Smelly Car. A scary thought... O can get separated from B.
• The Marine Biologist. "The seas were angry..."
• The Gymnast. I will still eat anything that is on "top of the doiley."
• The Big Salad. This is a new way of thinking about who gets credit.
• The Burning.
• The Little Kicks. Even I can dance better than that.

There is No Escaping

There are televisions everywhere! And I am a little put out about it. What is the deal with this, anyway? Can people not live for a few minutes without the artificial stimulation of television? I do not care if you have multiple televisions in your home, but they are now turning up everywhere in public places.

Here are some of the worst offenders:

• Restaurants are filled with televisions. It seems to me that the art of dining and conversing is going away. It is hard to have a conversation when Chris Mathews or Bill O'Reilley is screaming at you from the other side of the room. Who can focus on people when there is a perfectly good football game going on just a few feet away? The thing that gripes me is when I take my newspaper (or a magazine, or a book) to a favorite restaurant for some time alone, and I am bombarded with noise! I understand the culture of the Sports Bar, but fast food, Mom & Pops and family restaurants do not count as a sports bar.
• There is a television set in the waiting room at my doctor's office. There are magazines on tables all around. I make it a habit to carry my own reading material. But who can focus when Malcolm in the Middle is in trouble once again?
• There is a TV in a local bank. Apparently it helps people lose track of how long their wait is. I do not know which is worse, the fact that the bank staff uses a distraction to disguise how slow they are, or that their customers are so dim-witted that they do not notice.

I am sure that I am probably a minority on this issue. The televisions keep popping up so someone is watching them. Some people are enjoying them. But, I am not one of them.

The Prosperity Gospel

I have not been everywhere. I have not seen everything. But I have been in some homes with dirt floors, no water or plumbing and no electricity in Africa. I have befriended service workers in the Caribbean who work 60-80 weeks for $100 a month. I have been in homes in Appalachia that you cannot drive to. People live in places where services that I take for granted are not even considered. I have met disciples of Jesus in all of these situations. People with such faith that I feel like a 'doubting Thomas' live in conditions that I would not leave my dog in. These people are poor and they love Jesus.

There are people in my church who live from paycheck to paycheck. They make decisions to pay the rent or to buy their medicine. They do not eat out or go to movies. When they make contributions to the church, or other ministries, it is truly a sacrifice for them. They love Jesus and they struggle to get by.

There are people in many parts of the world who are not only destitute, but they are in danger for their faith. These faithful brothers and sisters in Christ are often arrested, tortured and executed for their faith in Christ. These martyrs love Jesus and prosperity is not even an issue for them.

I have not met the most destitute people in America, in the Caribbean, or in Africa. But I have seen some preachers on television that make me made as anything. I am fed up with preachers who try to justify their extravagant lives and lifestyles by playing on the needs and concerns of innocent, maybe naive, Christians. The idea that God wants me to be rich is at least preposterous and possibly heretical. If God's will was for all Christians to be wealthy there would not be faithful, committed servants of his living in shacks with dirt floors. Surely God would bless the most faithful and the most hurting first.

These preachers, I will not name them because you know who they are (if you do not turn on your Christian television station), corrupt the word and the work of God. They will make more money if they can convince their viewers that God will bless everyone if we just send in some money and have enough faith. So a supposed evangelist is stealing money under false pretenses and challenging the faith of anyone who does not go along with this scheme.

This is a travesty that we have allowed for too long. So do this:

1. Do not watch or support ministers who proclaim a 'prosperity' message. Please continue to participate in every way in the ministries of those who are truly ministering to the spiritual (and physical) needs of viewers.
2. Ask your local television and radio outlets to not support these 'ministries'. Write letters and emails, make calls to request change.
3. Pray for hurting and persecuted Christians all over the world. Find ways to share your resources, time and prayers with those who are in need.
4. Learn to be content with your own possessions and income. God has blessed you. He will continue to take care of you.

Reality TV is not Real!!

When will the television networks get over 'Reality TV?' I know that the answer to that is as soon as people stop watching reality TV. But really, enough is enough. There is nothing about any reality show that looks at all like my real life.

I have never been trapped in a house, a bunker, an island or a board room with 12 body building, fitness trainer super-models. And even if I was, I think that I would volunteer to leave. Who are these people? Where do they come from? Why does anyone care about them?

Meanwhile, network television executives are loving the reality craze. Production costs are relatively low for these programs. There are no actors to pay. There is a small crew, and only one host. The main expense is the 'large' cash prize at the end of the season. The cash prize is nothing to the producers and advertisers who bring us this stuff.

And ultimately, reality television adds nothing of value to our lives or our culture. After an hour of the Apprentice Survivor in Hell's Kitchen, we have no new knowledge. We have not been enlightened. We have not grown. The best that can be said for these programs is that they leave us mildly amused and curiously interested. There is nothing soul-stirring or conscience-pricking about them.

And so, I propose we take action.

1. Stop watching these reality television shows. There is surely something else on. After all, we have hundreds of television channels to choose from. And if there is nothing else, simply turn off the television.
2. Encourage your friends to stop watching reality television programs. This will require swimming against the current, but you can do it.
3. Find other ways to occupy your time and expand your horizons. Television should be art, and as art it should make the world a better, more beautiful place. And if it cannot do that, it ought to at least provoke some thinking and discussion. When television fails, think about books, films, museums, dance. Live!
4. Look at the world in realistic ways. Do not be fooled into believe that every person in the world is 28 years old and beautiful.
5. Finally, be alive. Use television. Do not let television use you.

Jack Bauer is like Jesus?

Do you remember a couple of years ago when The Passion of the Christ first came to movie theatres? There was all sorts of furor over the violence, the blood, the unnecessarily graphic nature of the film. Even Christians, who agreed with the content, tone and message of Mel Gibson's movie were occasionally moved to shudder, or at least scratch their heads and wonder why. You see, no matter how much we love Jesus, no matter how grateful we are for his suffering and sacrifice, we really do not want to have too much information about the details. It is just too uncomfortable and ugly for us. We want the Christian world to be pretty and pleasant.

So, I was watching my favorite television program the other day. Jack Bauer was once again in the middle of saving the world. That's what he does on 24, after all. I was thinking to myself how grateful I am that Jack is out there protecting me and saving me from all the bad guys. And though I know that the program is a fantasy, I secretly pray that there are some real Jack Bauer's in the world. I hope that there are people- men or women- who put my safety above everything else.

And there was Jack, torturing another suspect/ criminal/ terrorist to get the information that would save the world. There were no other options. Jack had to use extreme measures. He had to use torture so he could get the information before the bomb/ nuclear device/ assassination/ biological weapon went off.

It was then that I realized that as much as I love Jack Bauer, as much as I think that I- and our country- need him, if I knew him in real life, I would not choose him as a friend. What he does is important, crucial in fact. But it is ugly and unpleasant. Jack is, in reality, an unsavory character. He is surrounded by unsavory people. What he does makes me wince and disgusts me, but I need Jack. I need him to save the world.

Isn't that just like Jesus? We do not want to know the details about his suffering, his torture, his death, but we need him. I need him to love and forgive me. I need him to save the world.