Texting in Restaurants

Awhile back I had this great idea. It would be perfect if I could text my order to the kitchen in restaurants. In this way I could save money on the tip because I would not need a server. I would save time because I would not be waiting on another table to order. I could cut out all the confusion and difficulty that comes with inconsistent service.

This idea, I thought- and still think, had great potential. How great would it be if I could order while waiting for a table and have my food ready when I was seated? How great would it be if I could text the hostess in advance of my arrival so I could be seated more quickly? The advantages and applications are virtually limitless.

And then I saw my idea on television. CNN did a report on a bar that had a special iphone app for ordering and keeping track of your drink tab. The report ended there, but I am sure that there is much more to the system. I cannot wait until this particular idea is more widely implemented and available at my favorite places.

I do not own an iphone and I'm not planning on getting one, but the door is open. Soon I will be able to use my cell phone to have the world- or at least my dinner- come to me.

Hamburger Nuggets

I have no hard evidence to support this idea, but it seems to me that the chicken nugget is the preferred kid's meal entree in all of the finer fast food outlets. Call them nuggets, mc nuggets, strips, tenders of fries, it appears that children like chicken.

This, I believe, is an attack on the American way. We are beef people. We eat steak, roast beef, meat loaf and hamburgers. This is the country where you can get a product called Hamburger Helper. In fact, I challenge any reader to buy a box of said product without singing the jingle. "Hamburger Helper helps your hamburger helper make a great meal."

This is why we must do everything that we can to stop this insidious Al-Qaeda plot. Here are a few suggestions for our "Save American Values" plan.

1. Never again order chicken products in a fast food place. (Exceptions can be made if you are at KFC, Chick-Fil-A, Chicken Coop, Lee's or Famous Recipe.)
2. Speak to children about the dangers of undercooked chicken, salmonella poisoning and inhumane treatment of chickens on factory farms.
3. Encourage the development of a hamburger nugget.

The hamburger nugget is the most important part of the plan. The chicken nugget has become so popular for several reasons. First of all, there is the perception that chicken is healthier than beef. This may be true except that I am skeptical of the grease that the chicken is fried in. Secondly, the nugget is made exactly for the fingers of children. Thirdly, the marriage of the nugget to the dipping sauce is a stroke of genius. Children get to eat, get to be active and work on an art project simultaneously.

Here is what we need. Someone needs to develop a practical hamburger nugget. The nugget could have a light breading on it and be deep-fried. There would necessarily be a variety of dips available for burger nuggets. Ketchup and mustard are no-brainers, but there could also be relish, barbecue, horseradish and mayonnaise.

When we get children addicted to burgers, we will be assured of saving our nation.

Smell Phone

So the other day my mother called me while I was still in bed. She woke me from a sound sleep. Its kind of a game with us. We sometimes call each other early in the morning. If you wake up the other person, you win. My mom won that day. As we were talking it occurred to me that is was a good thing that she could not smell my breath through the phone. I had an especially significant case of morning breath.

And then it hit me. The cell phone is potentially the most powerful thing in the world. The iphone has taught us so much about what a phone can do. For that matter, my simple phone has an mp3 player, a calendar, camera, alarm clock and a lot of other things that I do not know about. A smart phone can surf the internet and communicate around the world in multiple ways. But I believe there is potential for a "genius phone." A genius phone is so good that it actually meets real human needs. It is practical.

Let me suggest some applications for the Genius Phone (all of which are probably realistic).

• Blood Pressure Monitor. Electronic blood pressure devices are getting smaller and smaller. Put it on my phone.
• Heart Rate Monitor. It will let you know how effective your cardio workout is.
• Glucometer. Measure your blood sugar in a convenient, pocket-size meter that is always with you.
• Pregnancy Test. Probably possible, but you probably don't want to talk to your sister after you have urinated on your phone.
• Pedometer. Since your phone is perhaps attached to your belt, use it to measure your steps, distance, speed and calories burned.
• Universal remote control. Use your phone to control you television, surround sound, stereo, dvd player and more. A convenient feature is that when you answer your phone the tv automatically mutes itself.

I know I live in a dream world, but what a dream it is.

Road Trip/ Car Games #4

Here are some more ideas for games to play in the car on long trips. These are great for families, or any other group that is stuck in the same car/ van for hours at a time. Rules are simple and there are very few supplies needed. A pencil and a note pad should do you just fine.

The Truck Lines Game

There are a couple of variations on this game.

1. Choose a couple of well known truck lines before beginning the game. You might choose JB Hunt, Schneider, Yellow, Roadway or Werner. Choose a time limit or a destination. Now the game can begin. At the end of the game the person who has spotted the most trucks from that line wins.
2. The second variation is to find the most different truck lines. There are literally dozens of transportation and freight lines operating in the USA. The person who writes down the most different companies will win this game.
3. A final variation is that each player will locate the most different types of trucks. Look for dump trucks, grain trucks, panel trucks, etc. Again, the one with the most at the end of the game wins.

The License Plate Game

This game is simple for anyone to play, but you will need to take special notes and be careful of your answers. Again, there are two variations.

1. Use the letters and numbers and letters on license plates to spell out the entire alphabet from beginning to end. Find an A on a license plate. Then you can find a B and so on. You can not use the same license plate for more than one letter. And each license plate can only be used by one person.
2. In this second variation you will be scoring points by finding special license plates. Gain points by the spotting the following plates.

• Each state will get you 2 points. You can only get points for each state one time.
• If you get all 48 of the contiguous states you will get a bonus of 100 points.
• Spotting Alaska or Hawaii plates will get you 25 points each.
• Any Canadian Providence is also worth 25.
• Any other foreign country is worth 100 points.
• Vanity plates are worth 10 points each.

Discussion Concussion

This game does not need to be limited to car time. It will be good for anyone, anytime. Humans do not spend enough time interacting with one another. We need to spend time intentionally talking. So, us some of the following questions to start conversation.

• What is the most important thing in your life?
• Is there something that you would give your life for? What is it?
• Do you think that money makes life better or worse?
• Give an example of a time when you were extremely happy.

Pedestrian Lanes

I live in the country. It is very rural where I live. In fact, most of my life I have lived in places that are too far from the grocery store to walk there. I drive almost everywhere I go. Work, church, store, shopping, school... it's all too far to walk.

And yet, I walk. I try to walk every day for my health. And herein lies my problem (complaint) of the day. It is dangerous for me to walk in my neighborhood. There are all sorts of dangers lurking. I might get run over by a car, attacked by a rogue deer, injured by an Amish buggy, or sickened by the odor of fresh roadkill. This does not even take into account heat stroke, heart attack, frostbite and skin cancer that can occur out of doors.

So I have a suggestion. It will cost a little bit, but not too much, I think. And we can rather quickly absorb the costs and get used to them. All streets, roads and highways should have a designated pedestrian lane. This lane will need to be only about 36" wide. And although it will require extra land purchases and expense for the materials and labor, it will be a very small percentage of the overall construction cost.

This change would happen gradually. When a road is re-paved or improved the new lane would be added. It would not be necessary to go back and put the new pedestrian lane on all existing roads. Obviously, there would not be a pedestrian lane on interstate or limited access highways.

The benefits would be great for all people. There would be fewer pedestrian/ bike accidents. These new lanes would encourage exercise as well. A healthier population will be good for everyone.

A Different Kind of Restaurant

In the USA we are all too fat. Let me clarify that, I am too fat. I eat too much. And here is the weirdest part, I love to eat out. It has become a social thing for me, and for many people. We do not go to one another's homes anymore for a visit. We plan a meal at the local pizza parlor, or maybe a trip to the coffee shop for latte and scones.

Either way- you can also fill in the name of your favorite restaurant- we end up eating too much when we go out. In fact, we judge restaurants by how much food we get for the least amount of money. Pizza buffets, all-you-can eat places and the like are more popular than ever. Every town is filled with charity groups who sponsor all you can eat pancake/fish/chicken meals.

Even when we are not gorging ourselves on the endless salad bar (which often does not have a lot of salad) we feel cheated if our portions are not huge. We are trained in this way. We have limitless bread, chips and salsa, bread sticks or peanuts before we even get to the meal. Many times I have been full before my food even arrives.

Then, when the meal is over, I take home enough food for another meal. And that food, I am sad to confess, is often forgotten in the fridge until it is not worth eating. It has come to the place that sometimes I do not even take my leftovers home.

Over the last year I have lost about 40 pounds. I would like to lose about that much more, but I have made a discovery. When I eat out, I don't lose weight. I eat too much.

So, here as an idea for some enterprising entrepreneur. Start a restaurant that is diet conscious. Serve smaller portions. Offer healthier selections. Use less processed food items. Make desserts flavorful, fruity and healthy.

We live in a nation that spends billions of dollars every year on dieting. We buy diet books, diet cook-books, diet videos, pre-packaged diet foods and meals, exercise equipment, health club memberships, Weight-watchers memberships and fees... You get the idea. This is a no-brainer. Give us a place where we can socialize and watch our weight.

We Need a Yearbook Website

I was reading the newspaper a couple of weeks ago when I saw a photo and an article that looked very familiar. The woman in the picture looked like a girl I went to high school with 20- some years ago. However, I could not be sure. After all, she was married. Her name was different. She was older. Her hair was different. And besides all that, the article said that she lived in a town that was nowhere near my high school. What would she be doing there?

I Googled her. I looked on Facebook and MySpace. I tried everything I could to find out if this mystery woman was in fact my high school friend. I spent a lot of time reminiscing. I remembered classes we had taken together. I thought about the crush I had on her best friend. One thing led to another and I went to the basement for the yearbook.

That is when it struck me. What we need is a website with yearbooks on it. It would be a huge undertaking, but it would be very convenient if we could go to one place to find High School and College yearbook photos and information on celebrities and civilians. Yearbooks could be sorted by year, by state and by region. Photos could also be made available alphabetically.

I know that it does not seem important, but this would have saved me a lot of time as I was looking for information on my friend.

The Jerry Garcia Game

I noticed several years ago that in almost any crowd there is at least one person who looks like Jerry Garcia. Jerry Garcia, as I am sure that you all remember, was the bearded leader of the Grateful Dead. This phenomenon became amazing to me. Everywhere I looked there was Jerry Garcia, even though I knew that he was dead. That made me notice other people. You would not believe how many people look like someone else, famous or not.

Yesterday when we were having lunch in a restaurant we saw a man at the next table who could have passed for the character actor M. Emmett Walsh. These 'sort of' celebrities are all around you. Open your eyes.

So play this game the next time you are with a group and in a crowd. Find someone who looks like someone else. Point out your look-alike to your companions. Everyone then gets to vote on whether or not the look-alike really looks like who you say. If the person looks like a celebrity, you get two points for every yes vote. If the person looks like a personal friend or acquaintance, you get one point for every yes vote.

And here's one variation: Play the game finding look-alikes for family members, friends and acquaintances. No celebrities allowed. This one will be a little harder because everyone in your group will probably not know everyone you know. But you will see people who look like your cousin, your dog groomer, or your local barista. You will be surprised, but it will be a lot of fun.

Inventions, Time-Savers and World-Changers

I used to write from time to time in a blog on my MySpace page (http://www.myspace.com/revdewey). I am not writing on there any longer because it just takes up too much time, but from time to time I will include some of that kind of thing on this blog. Today is one of those entries. I hop you enjoy.

Here are some thoughts that will make the world a better place.

• The Family Hotel Room. Many hotels are beginning to realize that when more than one person is staying in a room, there is a difficulty in the bathroom. When a family has to shower, shave, brush, do make-up, etc., it takes a lot of time, and some room and coordination. This could be simplified if hotels would offer family rooms. These rooms would have a separate area for the toilet, sink and shower. In this way three different people can be getting ready at the same time. Of course, just putting an extra sink outside the bathroom would go a long way in fixing this problem.
• Destination Weather in the Airport. You have been there. You sit in the gate area of the airport waiting for your flight. Of course you wonder about the weather in whatever city you are traveling to. However, in most airports you will see only a generic national weather outlook from Atlanta (CNN) or weather from the city you are leaving. Airports should have weather reports for the cities that travelers are going to. Then we could be prepared for what to expect when we land.
• Re-cycling sea water. This is something that really needs to happen. Someone needs to learn how to de-salinate the water from our oceans. There are several advantages to this, not the least of which are helping to alleviate drought conditions wherever and whenever they exist, and avoiding the disaster that may be coming of the Polar Ice caps melt and raise ocean levels. There will be too much salt water. We should be using it.