This, I believe, is an attack on the American way. We are beef people. We eat steak, roast beef, meat loaf and hamburgers. This is the country where you can get a product called Hamburger Helper. In fact, I challenge any reader to buy a box of said product without singing the jingle. "Hamburger Helper helps your hamburger helper make a great meal."
This is why we must do everything that we can to stop this insidious Al-Qaeda plot. Here are a few suggestions for our "Save American Values" plan.
- Never again order chicken products in a fast food place. (Exceptions can be made if you are at KFC, Chick-Fil-A, Chicken Coop, Lee's or Famous Recipe.)
- Speak to children about the dangers of undercooked chicken, salmonella poisoning and inhumane treatment of chickens on factory farms.
- Encourage the development of a hamburger nugget.
Here is what we need. Someone needs to develop a practical hamburger nugget. The nugget could have a light breading on it and be deep-fried. There would necessarily be a variety of dips available for burger nuggets. Ketchup and mustard are no-brainers, but there could also be relish, barbecue, horseradish and mayonnaise.
When we get children addicted to burgers, we will be assured of saving our nation.