Adult Films

No, not that kind of adult films.

There are films that are made for children. These include traditional, Disney-style animation, computer animation and talking animal films.

There are films that are made for pre-adolescents and adolescents. These movies seem to have Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, Hannah Montana or some other Nickelodeon star of the moment in them. There are lots of people passing gas and someone inevitably falls in mud, manure or slime. (A popular variation is the Port-a-potty that falls over on someone.)

There are films that are made for teens. These are almost exclusively rated PG-13 and R. They contain one of the following: foul language, gas passing, puking, car chases, drug use, naked girls, bad jokes, lots of computer generated effects, slashers, monsters or Will Farrell.

There are films that are made for "adults." These films do not even get an MPAA rating. They are filmed depictions of made up sex scenes of unreal people.

Then there are the films that I prefer: Adult Films. Adult films feature complicated stories about life. There is meaningful dialogue, careful storytelling and sensitive treatments of complicated situations and characters.

The bad thing about Adult Films is that they never come to my small town theatre. I always have to wait to see them on video. There are worse fates in life, but I would like to see Woody Allen on the big screen.